Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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