we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
