Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
