he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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