woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
