I feel great
I just peed on a car
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize