I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I could fuck to npr.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
