I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
