i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
