accomplished twins. life is a go
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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