So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
