I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
