We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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