it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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