What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
