escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize