Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
