you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
