He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
