And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
