Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize