i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
