so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
