so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
how does that bad decision feel?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize