you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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