I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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