Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
