im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
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