Come see our sink grown plant.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
