Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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