so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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