she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
only you would photoshop your dick
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
