I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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