Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
