God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
