East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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