I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
