That reminds me...we need to get swords
did i walk over a car last night?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I supernannyed him into submission
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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