I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
