Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
