I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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