Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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