i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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