Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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