I bet he comes in French.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize