Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
