you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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