you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
