how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
