ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize