More tranny stories later!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
