Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
