i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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