are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
