I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
