quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
