You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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