If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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