It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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