So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
