I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
