a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I love having hate sex.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
