My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize