i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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